I never ever want R to grow up! We have so many special moments that I will miss so much when he grows up. Right now he loves me and needs me so much. One day he will hate me and wish I wasn't there to bug him or tell him what to do. I will cry the day he is mean to me or doesn't want me around or won't talk to me. Why does he have to grow up? When he is older he won't want to lay on the floor and play for hours on end with me. He won't smile anytime I look at him. He won't giggle when I shower him with kisses...he probably won't let me shower him with kisses at all. He won't cry for me when I'm not around. He won't want to be breastfed anymore (which is a good thing...I'd be worried if my 16 year old son would want to still be breastfed....15 is still ok...but not 16!) He won't want to be carried everywhere...and as much as my back hates it...I love carrying him everywhere I go. He won't need me to be with him or in the same room with him to be happy. He just won't need me the way he needs me now and that breaks my heart. And I know I will love watching him grow up and every stage will be special but I love being needed and wanted. And I know R will need me most of his life...but there will be times that he won't want me. So we are off to Neverland where we will never get older and he and I can live happily ever after!
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